Everything He Ever Wanted
by Vivere Sine Timore
Summary: She was everything he ever wanted, and everything he couldn't have. Someday, he promised himself. Someday, when the time was right, he would tell her the truth. One shot. Onesided Mal/Natara.


Hey guys! I'm sorry I haven't been on in like a week. Irene knocked out all the power in my town and my computer sucks and was therefore unusable. Anyways, so now I'm at my mom's work and they have power and Internet and I'm so happy! (And she wants to keep an eye on me since I had an allergic reaction to god knows what the other day and she's been paranoid ever since :P) I just figured I'd write one last thing before school starts and I drop off the face of the Fanfiction world. At least until next summer.

Just for the record, I do not approve of the Shawn/Natara pairing. Actually, I despise it. Shawn and Natara simply do not belong together.

Now, that being said, the only reason they are together is because of plot purposes. And even then I did some MAJOR tweaking to Shawn's personality. I know. I don't like it either.

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><p>Mal sat in a seat at his designated table, running his finger around he rim of his wine glass. He took a large sip from it, hoping it would help drown his sorrows- sorrows he shouldn't even have in the first place.<p>

He knew he should at least pretend to smile and let everyone think he was enjoying himself. He was at a wedding, after all, and everyone else seemed to be having fun. He'd even seen Amy and Kai dancing together once, and he had to smile at that. Glancing up at the dance floor, he sighed as he saw Natara rest her head against Shawn's shoulder. It took all his will power not to gag as Shawn kissed her hair.

He did gag when 140 spoons began clinking against wine glasses, prompting the newlyweds to kiss.

The worst part was that he couldn't even hate Shawn. He wanted Natara to be happy, and she was happy with Shawn. He treated her well and was sweet to her. No matter how much he wanted to change the fact, Natara was in love with Shawn and Shawn loved her right back. So long as Shawn loved her and treated her the way he ought to, Mal couldn't find it in himself to hate him.

He saw Natara start to turn her head in his direction, so he quickly stood and began walking over to where Amy was sitting alone. He knew that if she saw him sitting alone while other people danced or mingled she would come over and talk to him, and he didn't trust himself alone with her right now; knowing his big mouth, he'd get himself in major trouble. Amy glanced sideways and smiled when she saw Mal approaching.

"Hi, Mal," she beamed, setting her glass on the table in front of her and gesturing to the seat next to her. Mal held out his hand to Amy.

"Would you like to dance?" He paused briefly. "You know, with me?" She laughed breezily and took his hand.

"Would it surprise you that Kai asked me to dance using those exact same words?"

"Actually, no," Mal smirked. "Although I might have to use different words the next time we dance."

"Oh? And what make you think I'll agree to dance with you again?"

"Please. As if you could resist this handsome face and charming smile." They laughed together for a few seconds before quieting down, turning effortlessly as they danced.

"So, Mal, are you enjoying yourself?" Mal swallowed as their next turn brought them right next to Shawn and Natara. Mal quickly stepped again, guiding Amy further away.

"Yeah, of course I am."

"You're a terrible liar, Mal."

"I'm not lying."

"You clear you throat when you lie. Every single time. Just a little hint for you to remember. Your smile doesn't quite reach your eyes, and to top it all off, I saw you glance at Natara when we passed her and Shawn. You like her, don't you? As more than a friend?" Mal sucked on the inside of his cheek for a second.

"Miss Amy Chen, have you ever considered becoming a criminal profiler?" Amy allowed a small smile to cross her lips.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Mal's smile slowly faded as he looked down.

"Unfortunately you are."

"I think you should tell her."

Mal's head snapped up, his eyes wide. "What? No-" he started to protest.

"She has a right to know," Amy said, cutting him off.

"She's happy though, Amy. She and Shawn love each other. Who am I to come between them? I refuse to ruin their happiness for the sake of my own." Amy nodded, looking down sadly. They continued to dance for a minute or so until Mal felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Mind if I cut in?" Natara smiled. Amy shot Mal a meaningful glare as she handed him off to Natara. Mal glared right back as Amy took Shawn's hand and was led away. He took Natara's left hand in his right one and awkwardly wrapped his other arm around her waist.

"It looked like you and Amy were talking about something important," Natara remarked after a few moments of silence.

"Oh, that," Mal stammered. "That was… It wasn't that important." He concentrated on not clearing his throat.

"Really? Because the way you were looking at each other when we traded dance partners made it seem like it was pretty urgent."

"You saw that, huh?" Mal smiled sheepishly. "Nothing ever gets past you. It really was nothing, though. Don't worry about it. It's your wedding day! Come on! You're the center of attention." Natara grinned and shook her head.

"I can't believe I'm married," she said. "I mean I'm Natara Mallory, now. It doesn't sound right at all!"

"At least not yet, it doesn't." Mal smiled down at her sadly, and Natara led him to the edge of the dance floor.

"Okay, you can't expect me to not know there's something up with you, Mal. I'm your partner; I know you better than most people," she said, touching his arm gently. "Is something wrong? What's going on? You can always talk to me. You know that, right?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong." He glanced down at his watch. "I'd better get going. My sister's flying in with her family, and I offered to pick them up at the airport."

"Alright," she said sadly. "Take care, Mal. Don't do anything stupid or reckless, okay? I'll see you in a few weeks." Mal nodded as he fortified his courage; it was now or never.

"Before I go, there was actually something I'd hoped to say." Natara turned back, and expectant look on her face.

"Yes?"

"I…"

He couldn't do it.

Not here, not now. Not when she'd only been married a few hours. Someday, he promised himself. Someday, when the time was right, he would tell her the truth. But he couldn't do it now. It would just ruin everything.

"Mal? Are you okay?" He took her hand and gave her a reassuring smile as he squeezed it gently.

"I wish you every happiness, and nothing but the best for you, both of you," he told her sincerely. "You truly do deserve the absolute best." He turned to leave, but was stopped when Shawn clapped him on the back.

"Fallon! Thank you for coming. It meant a lot to both Natara and me. I really do appreciate it." Shawn wrapped his arm around Natara's waist and pulled her close. Natara smiled and placed her hand on Shawn's chest, leaning into his side.

"I was actually about to leave. Family matters and all that," Mal said with a shrug. "I'll see you guys when you get back from your honeymoon. Hopefully us detectives can hold down the fort for that long without you two."

"Alright," Natara said with a laugh. "I guess we'll see you then." Mal pointed at Shawn with a small grin.

"You. I give you permission to take pictures of a few landscapes," he joked. "But more than that, take pictures of memories, because those are what really matter." He shook Shawn's hand and kissed Natara's cheek, and then her turned to leave.

"Mal! Wait up!" Amy called just as his hand was on the door. He turned halfway around and glanced at her. "Did you tell her?"

He shook his head. "No. I couldn't. I couldn't do that to her, at least not right now." Mal glanced over at Natara longingly as she and Shawn danced. She looked absolutely radiant, the way every bride should on her wedding day. She was everything he ever wanted, and everything he couldn't have. At least she was happy. As long as she was happy, he could find a way to deal with it. He happiness was the only thing that mattered to him.

Natara turned her head toward him and met his eyes from across the room, smiling when he didn't look away. Sighing, Mal raised his hand to wave goodbye.

And then he left.

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><p>Alright, so before you all come after me like a mob of angry zombies with torches and pitchforks, don't you want to review to tell me what you thought and to warn me that you're coming to give me a head start? You know you do.<p>

Until next summer, then, guys. Unless you know me personally. Then you unfortunately have to put up with me all year.


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